Day 1 in Cyprus

So today is my first day back in Cyprus and away from my babe.. sad :(
I'm missing you loads and loads like you wouldn't believe and every second away from you is killing me
Just the one night away from you that I've spent so far here (thousands and thousands of miles apart) has made me realise just how much you mean to me and what a massive impact you've made on my life

You mean so much to me and I care about you so much, I'm sorry this is going to have to be fairly brief as I'm going to have to go off to our next meeting (had 2 so far)

I'm literally counting the hours until I can see you again and I can't wait for when I get back and we spend the weekend together :) YAY

AND AND AND I'm really really looking forward to us going on holiday in November or December, its going to be amazing having you all to myself for a whole week!! (or even better 10 days ;) )

You're the most amazing guy I've ever met and I love you with all my heart and soul

Can't wait to see you again baby (Keep Daz warm for me, he likes lots of hugs - especially bed hugs)


XXX

A Week in Words

So I've been very very busy this week and havent had time to post on here, I'll do a quick rundown of my adventures

Monday: Working in London on induction to LUS, was so tired travelling on the train there and back
Tuesday: In London again, travelled the tubes all day long answering questions on trains and the passengers... yawn
Wednesday: London again, slept all the way there on the train went to Vauxhall to get my entry permit from Atkins.. got home at a reasonable time though, my babe went out with my dad for drinks, really missed his stinky ass
Thurday: London yet again this time at the Northumberland Park Depot, went underneath a train and sat in an important meeting for a few hours, it was actually the most interesting day of work I've ever done while working at Bombardier.. hmmm is being interested in the trains and how they work geeky?? Got the staff train back to Kings Cross with Jack, when I got home chilled out with my babe :) yay got a bit of quality time in, hardly seen him all week
Friday: In Derby today.. finished at 1 so not too bad, spent lots and lots of time with Daz GOD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.. hehe I was a bit drunk
Sat: Just dossed around for most of the day then went out to town and Daz met Tree and got the thumbs up... YAY not surprised though as he is pretty amazing!
Sunday: Well thats today, Daz is getting a shower cause he wreaks and then I think we're going to IKEA! mmmm hotdog... only I've already eaten half a pizza and had a pint of Oreo milkshake and I'm feeling positively sick lol so will have to see how it all pans out

I'm in York at a seminar at the university on "The Intelligent Railway" from Weds to Friday this week.. don't want to go cause I know I'm really really going to miss Daz shit loads, I know I'm sad... but I really will, I don't like spending unneccesary time away from him, :(

Anyways I need to get ready now...

2 Months

YEAY

Today is 2 months of "officially" being with Daz.. which also means 2 months of him living at mine, its been amazing or should I say it is amazing, I dont ever want it to end

You're so special and important to me... I honestly don't know what I would do without you now that I have you

You're the most precious stone there is, and Im the only one to have discovered you so you haven't been named yet (and Im sorry but you can't be as I'm not prepared to share) you just piss all over diamonds, emeralds, rubies, sapphires and whatever else there is

Maybe I could bring you to work as show and tell and I could say.. this is the most precious stone, he's really shiny and you can't touch! (Because some stones when they belong to you nobody else can ever touch them or else it just not the same and it doesn't work anymore)

You're fucking amazing

Bored

I am so bored I could chew off my own ear, I want to headbutt the wall and stamp my feet, I want to go home, I feel mardy and also hungry, I've had too much coffee, I feel sick

My hands are shaking and I have a headache

I don't know what I'm doing, somebody is talking about rhythmic gymnastics, I can't hear..

The BSE crisis, venison in cornwall, I'm a dog owner.. WHAT THE HELL ...

I need to leave, rabbit stew??? randomness

I have never seen a live animal before other than a pigeon... Kangeroo

Aiiiiii

Oh no... I've got a severe case of the yawns and also the shakes from so much coffee!!
This is seriously not good!

Day 1

Today is my first day in my new job, so far I've reviewed a CD ..

and now I'm researching "help desks" online to see if any would be suitable for what we want for the TSSSA help desk.. basically they don't have any work for me to do yet, plus my boss is away all next week which means besides the 2 days I'm in London (YAY on Weds I don't have to come back to work!!) I'm not going to have anything to do for three days :)

Lovin it

YES YES YES

I'm about to leave work now.. the next time I come back here I'll be a Predictive Services Developer :-)

screw document control...

btw those docs you wanted... i burnt them he he he he he

New Hair

Following the ginger accident I had the night before last I went for something a bit more dark...

AAAAAAaarrrggghhh

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

god i think im going to burst

2 and a Half Hours

Time slows down, all around me is still and I inhale but I feel nothing, consumed, I twist and I'm underwater, in a trance, a bubble that bursts and then.. a grain of sand.. blown away by the wind

I cough and I can't get the scratch at the back of my throat, enveloped in frustration, my clothes are all too tight.. they are all soaking wet and I can't take them off.. clawing and ripping at them but they suffocate me

I've been fighting all my life and I'm tired 25 hours a day.. all weak..

Something changed.. It must be my turn I guess there's only a certain amount a person can take and we all need to be tested, some people feel more and some people ache more

I burn and I feel release, there's no need for anger anymore or hurt, I fall into your arms and I know I wont feel pain, you don't constrict me, just make it as soft as possible so that I can rest, I can relax safe in your heart, maybe thats why there's so much sleep (we're so tired from hurting), now we can recharge and there's not as much need to be on full power because I'll watch your back and you'll watch mine, so its almost like we're just on hibernate - only for a while

I can see you inside my head and it makes me smile, and it takes my breath away but I can still breathe

Its the Feeling in My Gut

Inside my body I am sick (for you)

My organs have tightened restricting blood and oxygen and Im lightheaded (its overwhelming)
Theres native indians in my stomach doing somersaults (borrower size)
Im seriously high on you and I like it
When I see you, Im so happy I could cry

I live with the beat of my heart and every beat carries love

What Was Here In Me

Now I can't remember what it said

I've been robbed, I feel like my emotions were just torn out of me, jagged skin and so much blood everywhere

And there you were

You are my first thought and last thought of every day, when I'm with you and when I'm without you all I think of is you
Everything I breathe is you

All that you are - I worship

What we have I cant ever lose, I cant see and end to it and I pray that it never stops, falters, changes or fades, I'd be a broken person without you, you're under my skin and if you go my skin wont fit anymore and so that would have to go too and that can't happen cause without my skin I'd die

I haven't been through this before, you and this.. its brand new to me, and its not a fleeting moment, a rapid momentaneous association of things that meet and pass ..its what I want and what I need, and I cant let go of it, its my future and if you want it then you're my future, thats what I want.. . its all I can think about

Before I was unstable material but you helped me to become constant, you're my stabilizers even though I think I would be a tricycle, you've helped me to remember myself and realise that love isn't just a misconception resulting from incorrect reasoning ..

I don't know what it is that you do, but what it is I know that I need it and I need you

(and for all that you did over the weekend, thank you so much, its truly appreciated, please don't think that it goes unnoticed because it doesn't and it means so much to me)

Do You Want More?

Come on now..

You know I love you, miss you loads and need you

xx

Ahhh this song by The Script really really makes me think about you

cos if one day you wake up
and find that your missing me
and your heart starts to wonder were on this earth i could be
thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd meet
and you'd see me waiting for youon the corner of the street
so I'm not moving
I'm not moving

XXX

I Guess There's So Much More

I dyed my hair last night with Garnier Nutrisse Cream can't remember the shade (either 7 or 9) but its sent me bloody ginger!! Im not impressed - even cancelled going to my parents as Im dying it brown tonight... anything to cover up this skank shade..

OMG as if I just got called ginner! GRRR!

I feel like I've wasted my life.. there's so many more productive things I could have been doing yesterday instead of messing about with my dumb ass hair thats now totally uncontrollable and in bad condition, I wish I could take it back to the shop and demand my cash back, miffed is not the word. . . I can just imagine the shop peoples face when they ask why do I want to bring back empty hair products and I point to my hairdo... they would laugh in my face!

And no Daz.. you're not helping (and you can pack in your laughing curly Sue)